WWF # 20 : Beach Bash
Bob Costas : Hello fans . The scene behind me is part of the stunning Boston Harbor . Tonight we are set up here on the beach of Spectacle Island in Boston at Harborfest . This is our last show before the Great American Bash at Yankee Stadium . This is Beach Bash !!!!!
Opening montage
Costas : I’m Bob Costas and Mr . Heenan I see you have returned ?
Heenan : Seriously Costas , that is the ugliest Hawaiian shirt , I’ve ever seen and who wears socks with sandals? Look let’s talk about tonight’s 2 hour show because I can’t stand to look at you .
Costas : Let’s do that . I’m just a few short minutes we will hear from NWA National Heavyweight Champion Randy Macho Man Savage .
Heenan : Oh great the Rock N Roll Express are here now ? Last thing we need is ugly teenage girls crying around here . We get enough of that from you Costas .
Costas : Also tonight , Ron Simmons will take on Tito Santana for the East Coast Championship . Why they agreed to this match before the Bash is beyond me .
Heenan : Because they’re stupid Costas . How about this Andre The Giant in a 3 on 1 warm up match before he destroys Hogan at the Bash ?
Costas : In speaking of warm up matches . Fred Blassie will have one tonight before facing Dean Malenko.
Heenan : I can’t wait for the return of the vampire tonight . Raven will be taking on The Cobra tonight . Hope you’re watching Taz , maybe you should just go back to the midget division and surrender the WWF TV Title now before Raven humiliates you at the Bash .
Costas : A best of 3 martial arts match tonight between the Great Kabuki and Larry Zbysko?
Heenan : We’re not in California, why is the All Valley coming here ? Cobra Kia !!! The American Dummy the Undertaker finally got the guts to show up tonight and we will have a contract signing between him and the greatest wrestler walking the planet . Mr . Wonderful Paul Orndorff . Gets ready Taker because on July 29th at Yankee Stadium Mr . Wonderful will be the new NWA World Heavyweight Champion .
Costas : When we come back , The NWA National Heavyweight Champion Randy Savage will be here .
Break
Costas : Fans welcome back joining me now the NWA National Heavyweight Champion Randy Savage . You’ve had a very busy Bash season , sir .
Savage : And the Macho Man wouldn’t have it any other way, Costas , yeah . I’ve faced the best the NWA has to offer . Brother my last match with Razor Ramone put me through hell , dig it ! I got a long way to go , but I’m looking forward to getting my hands on that shrimp Matt Jackson . Ricky Steamboat, I heard you loud and clear brother . Anytime and anywhere you want the Macho Man , you’re on . Ooooooo Yeahhhhhh !
Costas : Thank you Randy . Fans when we come back the Rock N Roll Express make their debut .
Break
The Rock N Roll Express vs FBI : Tough way to break into WWF . Big Sal gets knocked off the ring apron . A second later Guido falls victim to the old Double Dropkick as Gibson covers for 3 , Morton slides out and hits Big Sal with a forearm to keep him out .
Heenan : This would have been a good match if I were a 14 year old girl , Costas .
Costas : Ugh !!! No one needs that picture .
Heenan : Hey ! Watch it pal .
Costas : We’ll be back .
WWF East Coast Championship : Tito Santana vs Ron Simmons : These two put on a fun match . Simmons hits a flying shoulder tackle and then late in the match goes for a Powerslam , but Tito gets out the back and gets off a Double Flying Forearm that puts Simmons down just enough for 3 .
After the match the two shake hands and embrace . It’s broken up though as Valentine hits the ring with a chair and takes out both men. Valentine slams Tito’s knee into the ring post repeatedly until security comes out .
Heenan : Thata boy Hammer put that punk in his place . Teach that Ham and egger a lesson .
Costas : Ron Simmons is still down .
Heenan : Well he took a hell of a shot to the head with that chair , Costas . Which surprises me . First you gotta have a brain to hurt .
Costas : When we come back , Andre The Giant is in action .
Heenan : That’s the 8th Wonder of the World Andre The Giant , Pal . The man who will kill Hulkamania !
Break
Andre The Giant vs Thunderfoot I & 2 and Black Gordman : Heenan joins his killing machine by ringside and under his guidance, Andre doesn’t play . He bangs the Thunderfoots’ heads together and tosses them from the ring then a Powerslam to Gordman ! 1…..2……3 !!!
Andre goes outside post match and powerbombs TF1 on a chair . He grabs up TF 2 and pulls him down the beach and holds him under the water . Hogan rushes out of the crowd and the two men throw down just off the shoreline . Boston’s finest use tasers to subdue both men . They are carted off to jail .
Heenan : Did you see that . Hogan now suckered Andre in . He’s an innocent convict because of Hogan . I’m calling my lawyer …. Hello Jim !!!!
Break
Heenan : Just get him out Jim , the man did nothing wrong . He’s a pillar of the community. No let that low life Hogan rot . What are looking at Costas ?
Costas : Can we continue the show ?
Heenan : Why the hell are you asking me . Did I tell you to stop ??? Amateur hour around here today . I’m a legit broadcaster and I gotta work with this bush league clown . See why they had me come back Costas . Blassie couldn’t deal with your unprofessional attitude.
Costas : Let’s go to the ring .
Heenan : Was that so damn hard ?
Fred Blassie vs Pedro Morales: in the early going Pedro looks great . Blassie eventually bloodies him with the Blassie Bite and then ends it with the Mandible Claw!!!
Heenan : I don’t won’t be Dean Malenko right now . Well , I would never want to be Dean Malenko . Although I would rather be Malenko than you Costas . Are you gonna talk ?
Costas : You mean you’ll let me ?
Heenan : See attitude.
Costas : We’ll be back .
Break
Raven vs The Cobra : Raven is all business and that spells a bad day for Cobra . After a drop toe hold that clotheslines Cobra on the second rope , Raven hits the Even Flow DDT .
Heenan : Oh Taz , there is gonna be a midget beating at the Great American Bash .
Costas : You’re extra mean today .
Heenan : And you’re extra ugly all the time Costas .
Costas . When we come back it’s a best of 3 martial arts match .
Heenan : Stay turned for the East Coast All Valley !!! Cobra Kia !
Break
Bob Costas : The next match is a martial arts match. The winner will be whoever gets the best of 3 with a knockdown strike .
Heenan : My money is on the treasure if the Orient Larry Zbysko .
Costas : I would hardly call him a treasure .
Heenan : I would hardly call you a sharp dresser . Look at that tie . It looks like you shot your couch .
Costas : Let’s go to the ring .
Kabuki vs Zbysko : Before the match , Larry attacks Kabuki from behind . He bounces his head off the ring post 3 times . EMT’s check on Kabuki . He insist he’s ok , but the blood tells a different story . Kabuki gets in the ring and bows to the ref . Larry follows . They then bow to one another .
The ref calls for the bell . Larry Bodyslams Kabuki and then drives his knee into the bloody forehead . Heenan tells us none of this counts , but Kabuki is in a world of hurt . Kabuki pulls himself up by the rope and hits a reverse kick , that floors Larry .
Ref : point Kabuki!
They get up and Kabuki goes for a round house which Larry side steps . Larry does see the second second straight side kick that hits him in the ribs and he sails over the top rope .
Ref : No point . Out of the ring .
Zbysko gets back in the ring . The ref ask if both men are ready . Larry bows . Kabuki bows . Bell !!!!
Larry throws a handful of sand from the outside in Kabuki’s eyes and then hits a reverse spin kick . He jumps on Kabuki and pounds on him . The ref DQ’s the point to Kabuki .
Larry continues until Kendo Nagasaki hits the ring . He pulls Larry off . Looks and bows and hits Kabuki with a side kick to the head .
Break
Bob Costas : Fans here we go . The contract signing for the NWA World Heavyweight Title at the Great American Bash at Yankee Stadium. First the challenger ……
Heenan yanks the mic away !!!!
Heenan : Challenger ??? Costas allow me . First all you humanoids need to shut up . He is not a challenger . He is the WWF Heavyweight Champion. He is the soon to be the NWA World Heavyweight Champion . And he is truly Wonderful. Mr . Wonderful Paul Orndorff !!!
Heenan tosses the mic back to Costas .
Costas : And now the NWA World Heavyweight Champion The American Bad Ass ! The Undertaker !!!
The crowd pops big time .
Costas : Gentlemen , please have a seat . This is a standard NWA World Heavyweight Title Contract. One fall with a one hour time limit . Now let’s make some things clear . While Undertaker is here signing if he gets beat on the Bash tour before July 29th , Mr . Wonderful you are signed and committed to take on the new champion is that understood ?
Wonderful: I’m not stupid Costas I know this give me that damn contract .
Costas : Not so fast . This also means that in the event you win the NWA World Heavyweight Title on July 29th you are signed and committed to face Randy Macho Man Savage on August 5 . The final Bash show at Saturday Night’s Main Event at Aloha Stadium . Is that understood ?
Wonderful : Yes , now give me the damn contract !!!
Costas : That’s not how this works . The Champion signs first .
Taker : Nah , let him sign first . He seems anxious for an ass beating .
Heenan : Hey ! Shut your mouth pal . Look at you . You’re a disgrace to that title . Tats all up and down your arms . Wearing jeans to the ring . Now this man is a champion . 21 inch biceps . Six pack abs . A healthy lifestyle that children can look up to . This man is a role model.
Taker : Well , I’m not paid to be a roll model . I’m paid to destroy any man that walks in my yard . I stay focused on the job and that’s making sorry asses like him famous !!!
Orndorff picks up his chair and throws it at Taker’s head . Then he leaps across the table and pounds on Taker . Taker gets to his feet and gets Orndorff around the neck . Adrain Adonis comes in and waffles Taker with the discarded chair . They put Taker on the table and Orndorff Piledrivers him through it !! Orndorff signs the contract . He grabs Taker’s belt and puts it around his waist .
Orndorff : Now that’s what I call Wonderful . See you at Yankee Stadium . I’ll give this back to you !!!
Savage hits the ring . He attacks Orndorff . Adonis and Heenan were already halfway to the back . Savage with a bodyslam and then the Elbow Drop !!! The crowd explodes !! Savage grabs Takers belt ! Taker slowly gets up Savage hands him his belt and takes his leave with a nod of respect to the American Bad Ass , who then falls to his knees still suffering the effects of the Piledriver as the show fades to black and goes off the air .
End Show
WWF Great American Bash from Yankee Stadium . Bronx , New York ! July 29th
NWA World Heavyweight Title The Undertaker vs Paul Orndorff
NWA National Heavyweight Title Randy Savage vs Matt Jackson
Hulk Hogan vs Andre The Giant
WWF Tag Team Titles Loser Leaves The WWF Jerry Blackwell & Ken Patera vs The Road Warriors
WWF Television Title Taz vs Raven
WWF East Coast Championship Tito Santana vs Greg Valentine
WWF Cruiserweight Title Chris Benoit vs Johnny Rodz
Fred Blassie vs Dean Malenko
